Changes …

So many changes have gone on this last week. SOOOOO many that Greg and I should have done together, but I am left here alone to do myself.

First, I got accepted into a new masters program, I had to go and do orientation and registration and talk with financial aid. I almost lost it in front of the registrar when I had to fill out the Student Data Form and put my fathers info and not my husbands.

I don’t know about you, but I have the hardest time signing my name. Granted Ive been signing my maiden name for years. But, Greg and I were so excited for me to have his last name and each time I have to sign my name I remember the last time Greg and I went shopping together and I was signing my name and he said his name out loud and we were in the middle of a conversation and i was like what? and he was like thats gonna be your name soon. and Greg was beaming with excitement. So when i had to sign my name on the id card, i started getting emotional.

The next day, I had to move into my own place. I am blessed to have friends who have offered me a place to stay.

As with before I lived in my new place, I continue to expect Greg to just walk through the door.

August 9th, was the 5th month anniversary. It is so surreal. I can’t believe that he’s not here, and that I have to go see him at a grave, instead of him being here with me. I am still in shock and its so hard to do everyday things, everything and everyday is hard. I miss and love Greg so much.

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Young Unwedded Widows Ministry

Another way I am ministering (in addition to this blog) is by writing letters to other young unwedded widows.

I wrote and sent out my first one on the 5th month anniversary of Gregs accident. (August 9th)

I know she many not read it for many months and she may not at all. And I may not ever hear back from her and that is ok too. I just wanted to share with her some things that I have learned 5 months into this journey and encourage her and share the love of Christ with her.

If I am left behind, I might as well be doing something; even if I never make it off the couch! 😉

Eventually, when I am ready, I want my ministry to be more than letters and a blog. Since, I’m working on a Masters in Counseling, I feel like the Lord just added to who I am supposed to be ministering to. Who knows what form that will take on, or how many forms that will take on.

Whats ironic, is that Greg and I were starting to pray about where the Lord wanted us to minister together as a couple about 2 months before his accident.

I love my hubbie so much.

First Blog …

Please read my “Who Am I?” page as I set up my blog.

I can not tell you how long it took to decide what to name this blog. I wanted it to be something that was meaningful to us and our relationship. As I sat down I had like 20 things I came up with but none of them seemed to work out right or seemed to have the right touch. The name of this blog is lyrics from one of our songs, the one that Greg chose for us and the one that we would have had our “first dance” to at our wedding.

Who know setting up this blog would be so much to do and organize?

Maybe that is just because I used to be great with HTML and computers and layouts and such and I used to be anal about how things looked on a site. But now, things are not the same, nor am I and neither is my brain/ mind these days. In fact, its sort of a running joke with a friend of mine that my brain has been on vacation the past 4 3/4 months.

I just want the site to look nice, but I can find 100 things wrong with it, or I cant get to work right, when normally I could. But what is normal these days?

Today is the 5th month anniversary of Greg going to be with Jesus. I cant believe it has been 5 months. Everyday is so surreal and the shock hasn’t really worn off yet. I still find myself thinking he is going to be at the house I just moved into, or having a text message from him when I wake up. I just can not believe that he is gone.